Self-Punishment is an Addiction

“Participant: AJ, whenever I try and get real about my true self and about how I actually am, I get into a real self judging place, and I don’t know how to see myself as I am without going to that judging place.

So you go into self punishment?

Participant: Yeah.

“Yeah, self punishment is also an addiction. And we need to come to recognise that it is. So what would you do if you were in another addiction – let’s say you had a problem with smoking and you were giving it up. What would you do? Would you have the smokes lying by the bedside table? You wouldn’t, would you? What would you do with them?

Participant: Get rid of them.

Yeah. Most people jump up and down on them and throw them in the bin and then later on at night search through the bin for that. You see, what we often do is we revert back to the behaviour that is a part of the addiction. Self punishment is an addictive behaviour established usually by our parents, actually. We learnt when we were young children that one way to get mum and dad’s approval is to agree with their punishment of us. So therefore we go into this self punishment phase every time we notice something that we feel is bad about ourselves. Now self punishment is also an addiction. So we need to address that as an addiction rather than actually acting out the self punishment and punishing ourselves even further. So we’ll talk about how to do that later in the discussion. As long as you understand at this point that self punishment, self attack, is an addiction in itself. And we need to address that addiction if we really want to progress. Now the problem is when I’m prepared to punish myself, evil spirits who are around me are also then prepared to punish me, so they come in and even worsen the emotion.

Participant: And that’s what happens because instantly I just hear them, “You’re bad, you’re bad, you’re bad, you’re bad”.

Yeah. They’ll start saying things to you, saying, “You’re a bad person anyway”. Because what do they want you to do?

They want you to give up the quest for truth and love and go back to satisfying their addictions, whatever those addictions were. That’s what they want to do. So they want you to punish yourself because in a place of self punishment, you often just give up and go, “Ah, blow this,” and usually we use an β€œf” word or two. “Blow this! I’m tired of feeling this bad”, and no wonder because you’re punishing yourself all the time. So we go, “I’m tired of feeling this bad, I’m just going to give up anyway and I’ll just go back to my old life.” How many of you have thought like that doing that in the last six months? Exactly. It’s something that happens on a regular basis and it’s something we need to deal with as an addiction.

We have that addiction because we’re invested in our parent’s viewpoint of ourselves. So when our parents punished us,they needed a justification for that punishment and so what we start doing is we start justifying to ourselves our own punishment of ourselves. Now God doesn’t want you to punish yourself, God wants you to change. You’re not going to change while punishing yourself more. We’re only going to change if we realise that that’s one of our addictions and what it’s related to. We’ll talk more about what it’s related to perhaps at another time.”

Original Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPbW3jUH0V8 44:46
Transcript:http://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/345228/2/the-human-soul-addictions-bribery-fear-threats-blackmail

God Does Not Respond to Addictive Demands

“Participant: I’m starting to realise that if we have a really strong desire for God it could be an addiction expecting Him to love us.

Jesus: We have a lot of addictions with God. And in fact God doesn’t respond to addictive demands. That’s one thing we need to remember about God.

So this is one way that we can tell whether we have addictions with God. We pray, we pray, we pray, we pray… nothing happens. We pray, we pray… nothing happens. We pray, we pray… nothing happens. We pray… now, ” F you, God, I’m not praying no more”. That tells me that all the previous prayers were all addictions. They were all demands because remember the anger-based response is when the addiction or expectation or demand is not being met.

The truth is you will never get angry when you’re out of your addictions. You’ll never get angry again. I’m not talking about the childhood anger, where you’re processing an emotion and you’re laying on the ground just having a good scream, I’m talking about the adult anger where you’re just in a rage because something that you wanted did not happen. And because something we wanted didn’t happen we turned to anger, and the anger is telling us that actually none of what we just did was motivated by a pure motive; it was all motivated by an unloving motive, a motive to avoid a fear, or avoid some grief, or to control.

You see the anger is a very good guide. Remember three years ago now I gave a talk about, “The Human Soul – Anger is your guide”. Many of you are yet to learn this actually; anger is your guide, telling you that, “Oh! I have an addiction, and it’s unloving. That’s what my anger is telling me.” And if I look at my expectations and demands, in that addiction, I will find and discover the fear that those demands and expectations cover. And if I let myself feel those fears, as an emotion, I will actually get to the underlying reason why I did all that in the first place, and while I’m there, now God can connect to me. And God can connect to me because I’m now in my true self, I’ve now had an awakening to what’s going on inside of my own soul because I wanted to, I made that choice to.

So when we’re in these addictions, we are so far removed from God that we have no chance of connecting. We need to go in and down to get to the connection point.

So we need to go into the anger, we go, “Okay I’m angry, I’m angry. I admit that I’m angry. Okay there’s an addiction in play. I’m angry so there’s got to be an addiction.” And even at that point most of us go, “No it’s your fault I’m angry.” For example, β€œIt was my husband’s fault; he didn’t do the right thing by me.” Or, “It was my wife’s fault or my children’s fault.” It’s always somebody else’s fault, right? No, it’s because you have expectations and demands that you’re angry, that’s the only reason why you’re angry. So it’s within me – my expectations, my demands – that create this rage within me. So I go, “Okay, there’s an addiction inside of me that I desperately do not want to release. What is it?”

This is where prayer now comes into effect – where we can start praying for God to help us with finding what it is. Talk to our spirit guides who can lead us to show us what it is.”

Original Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPbW3jUH0V8