“When need is not met it creates an emotion that is out of harmony with love inside of us. So if I need something from you and you don’t give me what I need, I then feel sad, hurt, angry, or one of those emotions. Maybe even afraid, but any emotion that’s out of harmony with love that I am feeling in that moment demonstrates that I was in a codependency desire with you. I was demanding something from you that when you didn’t give it to me, I felt this neediness towards you, which was a demand. And when you didn’t give it to me, I got upset, hurt, angry, whatever the emotion was. That’s an indication that I am in need with a person and therefore in an addiction.
But a longing is very different. I can have a longing for you without actually projecting any needs upon you at all and without projecting any demand upon you at all. This is in fact what God wants from you to receive Divine Love because what happens is when you have a pure longing inside of your own soul for somebody’s love that’s not about neediness, there’s a part of your soul that opens that allows love to be received. And you see most of us on this planet have a lot of shut down things inside of our soul that prevent us from receiving love. So when we have a longing for somebody’s love, we open up this vulnerable part of ourselves, which allows love to flow into it. Now that’s not the same as a need; a need is a projected demand that the person love you. A longing is just a longing for their love whether they love you or not and you remain as happy whether they love you as you did when they didn’t.
So what often happens is we’re longing for somebody’s love, this open and vulnerable space gets created, and you see this a lot with teenagers before they get very hurt in love; they have this real strong longing for the other person and they just demonstrate that longing without any subterfuge or deceit. They’re just open about it, “Yeah you know I just love him, he’s so beautiful and he’s gorgeous,” and their eyes light up and you know they have this really open feeling coming from them. But then they get hurt and what starts to happen? Now they’re a bit more guarded with their heart.
But when we’re in a longing space we are not guarded with our heart, our heart is open and vulnerable and therefore
it’s open to being hurt as well. But if I have no addictive emotions in me, will I ever get hurt by having a longing? No. So any hurt that I feel that’s due to a longing is because of an unmet emotional need from my childhood that needs to be released anyway. [01:19:45]”
(The Human Soul: Processing Addictions)