Processing Addictions Tool 5: Be completely truthful about how we feel in the situation

“So in the situation I need to be completely truthful. I just slump down on the lounge, and I just exhale. Just imagine yourself in the situation where someone’s just been unloving to yourself for a moment, where you didn’t get what you wanted from them; that’s what you feel. So you breathe. Close your eyes for a moment maybe and you breathe. Start voicing out loud about how you’re feeling. “I’m feeling really upset actually.” You start describing how you’re feeling.Now if your partner is used to dealing with emotions, your partner will be very used to you doing this and you’ll be used to her doing it too. If you’re not used to dealing with emotions then just inform your partner beforehand that this is the kind of thing you’re going to do instead of yelling and screaming at them. I’m sure they’ll be impressed.(Laughter)
So what you do instead is you allow yourself to breathe and feel, and start describing to yourself, but out loud. There’s a real power in doing it out loud because when you’re doing it in your head you’re not always connecting to the emotion of it. When you’re doing it out loud, you’re starting to really let yourself feel the emotion. So you’re closing your eyes so you’re not distracted by everything going on around you and you’re starting to feel your emotions. Your partner can be there or not, but it’d be lovely for them to be there because there generally will be something in this for them as well because everyone’s Law of Attraction generally finishes up triggering another person, and if both people are open enough you can deal with a lot of things emotionally. [00:51:29]
When Mary and I are going through things, the other person is generally just sitting there listening to what we’re going through, not projecting at us to do it or anything like that, but just allowing us to voice what’s going on. “Actually I feel really upset and angry.” You allow yourself to shake and feel the anger that you feel. “I feel really angry and frustrated and it’s about coming home to no dinner.” So you feel really angry and then you’ll start very rapidly generally feeling that anger and connecting to what it’s about; it’s about the fact that there’s no dinner on the table, and you can ask yourself that question, what does that feel like?
“Well I’ve been working all day and you haven’t been working all day. I’m working for us and we have to pay the
bills.” So in the end, you know what you might get to? That you actually don’t like your job. You might even get to
that. It might be something completely unrelated to what you thought it was going to be related to, and that you’re just sick and tired of working in this job. You’re so distressed about the fact that you haven’t got a job you love that by the time you come home you just feel physically exhausted with the distress of not having a job you love. It might be just that simple and that emotion comes up. If you allow yourself to connect to it and allow yourself to breathe, allow yourself to feel it in the situation, you’ll get to a point if you do that all the time where you start feeling the emotion, but it’s about being truthful. This is not about being in an angry space yelling at somebody; it’s about being truthful with what’s going on inside of yourself. [00:53:14]”

(The Human Soul: Processing Addictions)

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One thought on “Processing Addictions Tool 5: Be completely truthful about how we feel in the situation

  1. thank you I find personal that excerpts are most helpful and they always seen to come tobmy notice. when I must need them. great idea, Great service..again thanks k

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