The first step is: I want to know ALL of my addictions. The truth is that the majority of us don’t really want to know any of our addictions, because what we really want is for our addictions to be met by somebody else rather than having to come face to face with the fact that we’ve got some. So this first step requires quite a lot of prayer, and when I say prayer, remember prayer is a sincere desire or longing directed towards God.So let’s say I can see that I have a really strong aversion inside of myself to knowing all of my own addictions. What we do firstly is we start talking to God about that, so start saying to God, “I’ve really got a strong aversion to knowing about them. I don’t really want to know them. That’s the truth; I don’t really want to know them. I can see that because I don’t really want to know them, then I can’t get closer to you, so I can see that it’s interfering with my relationship,
but I can see also that I somehow need to generate some kind of a desire to know my own addictions.” [00:02:22]
So what I would do is in my prayer to God under those circumstances is talk to God about how I can generate a desire
to know my addictions and why I am so afraid about knowing them. Now, one of the biggest reasons why we have fear
associated with knowing our addictions is because once we do know them we will feel a feeling of self disgust, or you
could call it shame.
(From The Human Soul: Processing Addictions)